Computer Love

Need a special girl (ooh yeah)
To share in my computer world
I no longer need astrology
Thanks to modern technology

You know I’ve been searching for someone
Who can share that special love with me
And your eyes have that glow
Could it be your face I see on my computer screen?

© BMG Rights Management
For non-commercial use only.

The song Computer Love by Zapp is over thirty years old. Way before the explosion of the internet and definitely before Facebook, Youtube, Instagram and so on. How did a simple band with an autotune predict online dating? Who knows? I couldn’t find anything online about the inspiration for the song. Sadly, Roger Troutman was murdered by his brother. We’ll never know the if he could see the future. Either way, this entry is inspired by Roger Troutman & the Zapp band.

The encouragement of a coworker made decide to tip toe back into dating. I didn’t want to date because I didn’t have high expectations of men. I had already been disappointed by the most important man in my life. However, I had personal needs. Plain and simple, I needed to fuck.

It’s been years no over a decade since I’ve dated. Now I find myself back on the scene. I’m a little older and would like to think wiser. I’d already gone through the “I want to be alone” phase. Everything was going fine or so I thought.

The idea of being able to fuck someone new excited me. I hadn’t been with anyone new since….well in a looooong time. My vivid imagination conjured up all kinds of sexual escapades with sexy strangers. My coworker recommended an online dating site. I know you may be wondering about this co-worker. Well you know how you have an angel sitting on one shoulder telling you to do the right thing. Well he’s the devil on the other shoulder encouraging you to do fuck shit.

I nervously signed up for the dating site. I proceeded to write the worst most boring profile ever. I added one picture. Online dating sites are pretty much all about how your picture looks. I guess the one picture was enough for me to get a few takers. Initial online hookups involve a lot of messaging back and forth. Now as you can see, I love to write. Writing allows me to be whoever I want to be so when those messages turned raunchy I was hooked. I spent many nights messaging naughty thoughts back and forth. Now that’s not to say that it was only texting, but that’s first base. Second base I would say is actual phone calls. Third base is where it goes off the rails. This is the point where the pictures come into play. I’m gonna be honest, I have a good collection of dick pictures. In order to protect the not so innocent I’m not going to post any of the pictures. With the help of my devilish sidekick, I became a dick forensic specialist. Armed with just a cell phone and a text dick pic, I could determine the size, girth, nationality, any blemishes. Armed with this information, I would be able to determine how, when and where the dick crime occurred and which dick was guilty. Now I’m not all innocent in this situation. I’m sure that my pussy pictures are out there in cyberspace for all to see. What can I say? I may be an undercover exhibitionist. The final step is the home run. Now the home run is another story altogether. It deserves it’s own entry. For now we’ll stop here and my next entry will be about the home run. But before I end this entry, let’s thank the late Roger Troutman(11/29/1951-04/25/1999) for all of the online dating sites no doubt inspired by the song “Computer Love”.

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